WHAT IF MARRIAGE WERE A SPIRITUAL ADVENTURE CAPABLE OF TRANSFORMING A LIFE?
We are Edith and Jérôme EKOUE KOVI, originally from Togo, a country located in West Africa. We live in Lomé, the capital of the country. We were married in 2002 and joined Teams of Our Lady in 2004. We have three sons..
As members of the ERI (International Responsible Team), we serve as the liaison with the Eurafrica Zone, which comprises four Super-Regions: Italy, Spain, Portugal, and Francophone Africa.
It was this bold intuition that, in 1939, set ablaze the heart of Father Henri Caffarel and gave birth to Teams of Our Lady.
A simple and luminous conviction drove him: married couples are called to holiness, not on the margins of daily life, but at the very heart of the home, where glances, decisions, gestures of tenderness, and sometimes trials are exchanged.
Father Caffarel stated emphatically: “Marriage is not merely a human union: it is a vocation, a path to holiness.” This vision is rooted in the Word of God: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Mk 10:9)
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church.” (Eph 5:25).
Today, this fresh spring continues to nourish thousands of homes around the world.
- A Founding Charism That Illuminates the Path of Couples
The charism of Teams of Our Lady rests on three inseparable pillars:
- Conjugal Spirituality
Marriage is not merely a sacrament received on the wedding day: it is a spiritual path that unfolds every day. Father Caffarel wrote: “God has a grand plan for each of your homes: that you be witnesses of His love in the heart of the world.” The Bible itself reveals this mystery: “So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” (Mt 19:6); “Love is patient… it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things.” (1 Cor 13:4, 7).
- Fraternal Communion
Living in a team means walking together on the same path of growth and mutual support. Father Caffarel often reminded us: “A couple alone is a couple in danger. A supported couple is a couple that moves forward.” The Holy Scriptures confirm that: “Two are better than one… if one falls, the other will lift him up.” (Eccl 4:9-10). One couple testifies: “Today, we have discovered that our home can become a little domestic Church. Our meals have become moments of dialogue and prayer. Not just consumption.”
- Ecclesial Mission
Christian marriage is not turned in on itself. According to Father Henri Caffarel, “Couples have a mission in the Church. They are a sign, a light, a silent proclamation of God.” Our Lord Jesus stated in Matthew 5:14: “You are the light of the world,” thus inviting us to reveal the glory of God through our way of living.
Yes, this charism, as luminous as it may be, must be lived out concretely in daily life. That is why Teams of Our Lady offers a simple yet profound pedagogy that accompanies couples step by step.
- The Concrete Points of Effort: A Simple and Demanding Path for Growth
To embody this charism in daily life, Teams of Our Lady offers a realistic and profound pedagogy: the six Concrete Points of Effort. Father Caffarel said: “Nothing solid is built without spiritual discipline.”
- Listening to the Word of God: Read, meditate, let the Word illuminate each of our days.
- Personal Prayer (Oraison): Have a daily heart-to-heart conversation with God; “But when you pray, go into your room… and your Father will reward you.” (Mt 6:6)
- Conjugal Prayer: Praying together is a moment that unites, soothes, and guides; “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” (Mt 18:20).
- The Sit-Down (Duty to Sit Down): A monthly encounter of deep dialogue, under the gaze of God. Father Henri Caffarel insisted on “conjugal dialogue” as the “primary means of loving.”
- The Rule of Life: Set a concrete goal over time to move forward. “Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.” (Lam 3:40).
- The Annual Retreat: A spiritual pause to recharge, as the Lord tells us so well in Mark 6:31: “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
When these practices become a regular path, they transform not only the life of the couple but also their outlook on the world. This is where the charism of Teams of Our Lady reveals its full relevance today.
- A Charism More Relevant Than Ever
In a world where bonds are weakening, individualism is on the rise, and love is often wounded, Teams of Our Lady offers a prophetic path: to make each home a place of light, peace, and mission. Father Caffarel observed as early as the 1950s: “The Christian couple is called to be a light in the darkness of the world.”
Everywhere, couples accompany engaged couples, bear witness, open their homes, and share their hope. The founding charism is not a frozen heritage; it remains a living compass: “Seek first the Kingdom of God” (Mt 6:33).
It invites each couple to seek Christ together and to let the joy of the Gospel shine forth. Father Caffarel reminded us with great gentleness: “Conjugal happiness is not found by chance; it is built, day after day, with God.”
The message of Teams of Our Lady remains astonishingly simple: God believes in the love of couples and calls them to grow together, day after day. By welcoming this path, relying on the Word, prayer, and fraternal life, each home can become a place where God allows Himself to be seen, loved, and encountered.
May each couple dare to embark on this adventure of trust, allowing Christ to make their love a living sign—humble and luminous—for the world.
Edith and Jérôme EKOUE KOVI
Liaison Couple for the Eurafrica Zone
The Spiritual Counsellors and Advisors of the Teams in the teachings of the Popes
In this new edition of the ERI Letter, I would like to continue the reflection begun in the September 2025 letter on the presence, role, and importance of the Spiritual Counsellors and Advisors in the life of the teams. This semester, I have attended several training sessions for Spiritual Counsellors and Advisors in the Francophone Super Region of Africa and the Canada Region. In these sessions, it has been common and even reasonable to hear questions such as: What is my role in the team meeting? When should I intervene and how should I do so? These questions and many others reveal the deep desire of Spiritual Counsellors and Advisors to offer the best of themselves and to do so in meaningful ways. To help us in this mission with the Teams, I would like to briefly reference some words addressed by Popes Paul VI, John Paul II, Benedict XVI, and Francis to the Spiritual Counsellors and Advisors in their messages to the Teams of Our Lady. Reading these speeches in their entirety would be a great opportunity for formation not only for the Spiritual Counsellors and Advisors but for all the team members.
Pope Paul VI
In his message on May 4, 1970, to more than two thousand couples gathered in St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome, the Pope addressed the Spiritual Counsellors and Advisors personally with these words:
“Dear sons, chaplains of the Equipes Notre Dame, by a long and rich experience you know that your consecrated celibacy renders you particularly available to be, on behalf of families in their advance towards holiness, the active witnesses of the Lord’s love in the Church. Day after day, you help them to “walk in the light” (Cf. 1 Jn 1:7) to think correctly, that is, to appreciate their conduct in truth; to wish what is right, that is, to direct their will towards the good as responsible men; to act justly, that is, to gradually harmonize their life, through the uncertainties of existence, with the ideal of Christian marriage which they generously pursue.
It is only little by little that the human being is able to order and integrate his multiple tendencies, to the point of arranging them harmoniously in that virtue of conjugal chastity, wherein the couple finds its full human and Christian development. This work of liberation, for that is what it is, is the fruit of the true liberty of the children of God. Their conscience demands to be respected, educated and formed in an atmosphere of confidence and not of anguish. The moral laws, far from being inhumanly cold in an abstract objectivity, are there to guide the spouses in their progress. When the spouses truly strive to live the profound demands of a holy love, patiently and humbly, without becoming discouraged by failures, then the moral laws, present there as a reminder, are no longer rejected as a hindrance, but recognized as a powerful help (no. 14).”
These words of Pope Paul VI contain very precise guidelines that orient the priestly mission of the Counsellor in the Teams of Our Lady.
The Holy Father defines the task of chaplains in two words. The first: “witness.” The Pope says: “Your consecrated celibacy makes you particularly available to be, alongside families on their journey toward holiness, active witnesses of the Lord’s love in the Church.” In other words, alongside couples, the Counsellor lives and bears witness in a very particular way to his spousal relationship with the Church in the image of Christ, the spouse of the Church. The second word is “help.” The Pope confirms to Counsellors that “Throughout the days, you help…” couples. What a wonderful affirmation of the Counsellor’s service. But immediately we may ask ourselves, how can I help them on a daily basis? Pope Paul VI does not leave it to our imagination what this help consists of, but defines it by pointing to fundamental dimensions of personal and couple Christian life. I note that he presents this help with four verbs: walking, thinking, loving, and acting justly. In this way, he indicates that Counsellors should help stimulate all the spiritual faculties of the human person, such as their intelligence, will, and freedom to decide to change and grow in holiness, happiness, and in the search for God’s will, which is the biblical meaning of the “righteously” that accompanies each verb. Thus, according to Pope Paul VI, the Counsellors should help couples to:
- to “walk in the light” (Cf. 1 Jn 1:7)
- to think correctly, that is, to appreciate their conduct in truth;
- to wish what is right, that is, to direct their will towards the good as responsible men;
- to act justly, that is, to gradually harmonize their life, through the uncertainties of existence, with the ideal of Christian marriage which they generously pursue.
Let us continue reading, because Pope Paul VI is not content with defining the counselor’s help to couples, but with the heart of a Shepherd he also indicates the evangelical pedagogy to be followed, which requires great care for the anthropological conditions and Christian spiritual growth of each person and each couple. Let us identify each point of this pedagogy that, as counselors and spiritual advisors, we must remember every day in our personal relationship with couples and in our meetings with teams. Using the pedagogy of the TOOL, I summarize each point of the Pope’s teaching with the words in italics above each paragraph:
Gradualism:
- “It is only little by little that the human being is able to order and integrate his multiple tendencies, to the point of arranging them harmoniously in that virtue of conjugal chastity, wherein the couple finds its full human and Christian development.”
Respect and responsibility toward each person:
- “This work of liberation, for that is what it is, is the fruit of the true liberty of the children of God. Their conscience demands to be respected, educated and formed in an atmosphere of confidence and not of anguish. The moral laws, far from being inhumanly cold in an abstract objectivity, are there to guide the spouses in their progress.”
The effort:
- “When the spouses truly strive to live the profound demands of a holy love, patiently and humbly, without becoming discouraged by failures, then the moral laws, present there as a reminder, are no longer rejected as a hindrance, but recognized as a powerful help.”
In a way, what the Holy Father says helps us to remember the pedagogy of the TOOL in the document “The Second Wind,” which proposes three guidelines or principles to be put into practice in the Endeavors:
- Gradualism: this gradual progress made by each spouse and the couple is the daily experience of every team member who, recognizing their present situation, wants to progress in their conjugal spirituality.
- Personalization: it is necessary to pay attention and care to the pace established by each couple and each spouse in order to encourage them personally and as a couple to move forward on their journey.
- Effort: recognizing and encouraging the efforts of each spouse and couple who seek to translate the Endeavors into concrete actions that gradually change the couple’s life and build up their spiritual life.
In the next ERI letter, we will continue reading the Popes’ messages to the TOOL, focusing on their guidance specifically directed towards the Spiritual Counsellors and Advisors of the Teams.
To all Spiritual Counsellors and Advisors, we extend our deepest gratitude this Christmas. May the Child of Bethlehem bring you peace and joy. And in this New Year 2026, may God bless you abundantly in your ministry in the Church, particularly in the Teams of Our Lady.
Edmonton, December 2025
Father Augusto Garcia PSS
